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PTSD, Depression & Mental Health.

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mustang View Drop Down
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    Posted: 05 Sep 2010 at 5:09am
Hi
My name is Sally , its early o'clock and im not sleeping. I am an ex army wife who has a son now in his last couple of weeks serving. He is 24 years old and has served 8 years and seen active duty in several places....
its a lonley night here, i have just put my son to bed after collecting him from a night out unable to walk bearly able to speak....yes very drunk but not ur happy go lucky drunken night, not even your rowdy up for a fight night no, this is a blow up of PTSD night. Just felt like i needed to somehow be around others that have an understanding.......im sure if any one in my street seen him literally fall out of my car or watched me try to carry him into my house,any one who caught the fear in his eyes or seen me dodge the flailing arms would of just just thought anoth P***** squaddie .......little would they know......
I love my son and i thank god every day he made it home and tonight has been better than some previous nights.......but tonight i want to cry again and i want to make it better for him .......Im on here , he thankfully is sleeping his words are replaying in my head.....this is my home mum .....i made it home .....im trying mum.......
Thanks for listening to me everyone x     
    

Edited by Elaine - 17 Aug 2011 at 8:37am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Elaine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2010 at 9:05am
Hello Sally,

Thank you for finding us here and so sorry to learn of the situation you and your son are in, problems are always worse during the night, thoughts and words going round and round in your head.

It is almost impossible for most of us to imagine what these young lads have seen and been through, thank god your son has you, I know as a Mum you will always be there for him no matter how hard things are.

There is help out there for PTSD, but accessing it and your son accepting it are the first hurdles, I expect that you have already scoured the internet for organisations that help? If not I will list some for you to have a look at.

You said that your son is in his last couple of weeks serving, well I hope that his Regiment look after him properly and are they aware of how he is affected? There is supposed to be so much help and support now, I really hope there is.

Please email us at anytime, I hope you got some sleep, sleep at least is a temporary relief from the problems.


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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mustang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 05 Sep 2010 at 11:37am
Thank you for your welcome x
It has taken much hindsight and several years to piece together the evident emotions and behaviours.....sadly no support from the regiment and little wanting to admit on my sons behalf that he was not coping and his desire to make things work...keep on going....not be seen as a nutter....held up any real diagnois for a very long time. At last he has started letting go ( still a painfuly slow process) he has had a little help from the army...and we are aware of combat stress whom we have the paperwork for ....part of the process though is the getting past he paper work part for my son...another step of recognition for him .....and of course very normal in the circumstances to have lack of motivation......not so easy when they grow up to have to wait on the sidelines.......I Have faith that healing will happen but u r right night time is a lonely time so thanks again for ur response.
Take Care
Sally
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Elaine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Sep 2010 at 8:43am
Hi again Sally,

Thanks for telling us a bit more, we heard from a soldier last week that had received no support from his Regiment or the army.

It must be incredibly hard for you both, as a Mum you just want to help as much as you can and make everything better, but as you will know sometimes there are no quick fixes. I am glad that you remain optimistic as it must be exhausting for you both.

I list below some of the organisations that offer help and support in cases of ptsd:-

www.combatstress.org.uk
www.talking2minds.co.uk
www.v-i-a.org.uk
www.ptsdworldwide.org

It is sad that there is still such a perceived stigma attached to any mental health issues, there will be many more soldiers coming forward with ptsd over the forthcoming years.

Here is a link to an article in the Independent that you might find helpful -

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/wives-set-up-helpline--for-traumatised-soldiers-1775811.html





    
    

Edited by Elaine - 06 Sep 2010 at 8:51am
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mustang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Sep 2010 at 9:23am
Good morning and thank you Elaine x
yesterday was a very emotional day in our house things didnt dissappear over night as sometimes they do.......we all drew as close as we coud to eachother xx my son knows he needs to see someone but we seem a bit stuck at moving from that point he is fearful of the nextstep ...hope i will happen today though...it is soul destroyin to see such distress...and the effects ripple through to me and my other son and other family members...we are ready and willing to walk beside him though and endeavour to never reinforce the feelings he has of being a burden as my youngest son says ...HE IS OUR HERO (for ever so many reasons x) if there is anyone out there who would like some moral support from one that "knows".. someone in the thick of it in regards to PTSD I wuld be happy to offer what support i could.
Take care every one and here is hoping we can all have at least one smile today a belly laugh would b a bonus!
Sally xxxx
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Musicmadme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 06 Sep 2010 at 5:10pm
Hi to All that read this. My name is Graham, I am a 35yr old Veteran. I was in the Scottish Infantry for 10 years, prior to being medically discharged in 2003, following a Severe break down. For the last 8 years I have been living with the symptoms of Combat PTSD. I was finally diagnosed in September after experiencing Major Flash backs. When I was Medically discharged I was very much in Denial that I was suffering from Mental Health Issues. I was mis-diagnosed in 2006 and through this was reluctant to seek further help/support from Medical services. I have engaged with Combat Stress aswell as talking2minds, and am currently involved with V-I-A.
I still suffer from Anxiety attacks and Sleep deprivation. As Elaine mentioned in a previous post, the 1st hurdle to overcome is the Acceptance of the condition. There is a Group on facebook by the name of PTSD Families. Anyone with concerns can find Support and Advice from current group members. There is no cure to PTSD, but there are ways of making the condition Manageable. Kind and Best wishes to All.   
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mustang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Sep 2010 at 7:38am
Morning,
Graham thanks for your post it is both helpful and promising to hear someone being open,I hope that my son will come to be abit more open as time goes on. All thoughts of following up with some help yesterday went out the window! he decide not to speak with anyone else although did argee to the combat stress paperwork getting sent off so that is a step in the right direction. All is not doom and gloom I have to say for others that read my posts, he is off followin trough with some training which is helping him to settle into civvy street so will be out and about using his skills and talents to help others and progess himself. Im very proud of the transitions he is making ;o)
As for me iam going bk to work today ....life goes on and hopefully we maintain some normality.......we will face each day at a time and when PTSD visits again we made need to look at doin each minute at a time ...until then for now we made it to the top of he last hill an will enjoy the down hill run for what it is.
It feels like these posts are really a mini blog... I hope they dont bore anyone and that maybe someone can take some comfort an hope from what i post and not feel so alone.
I am thankful for the opportunity to share ( offload ) where i feel safe in the knowledge others will have some understanding. Thanks
Have a great day everyone.
Sal x
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Musicmadme Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Sep 2010 at 9:10am
Morning Sal. I strongly believe from Your last post that others will find comfort and hope on here regarding PTSD. The condition has been around since the Roman times. During the World Wars the name changed from Shell Shock - Trench Trauma - Battle Fatigue - Soldier's Heart and now Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. For many reasons past Governments have never given recognition for the condition, yet Iv heard the Americans have given their Veterans the Recognition, this is something I strongly believe helps the American Vets come to terms with it. Kind and Best wishes to Yourself, Son and All who may read this.
Graham
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Elaine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 07 Sep 2010 at 9:18am
Morning,

Graham thank you for contributing to this topic and for telling us your experience, I am sure that Sally found it comforting to hear from someone else who knows first hand about ptsd.

Sally I can assure you that you are not boring anyone and feel free to post as a miniblog - you just don't know who else will read them and take some solace, and identify with you and your son.

I am so glad that he has sent the combat stress paper work off, and as you say life does go on, (sometimes you wonder quite how)? I always offer the advice of one day at a time and little steps, it is good to have something to look forward to, but sometimes it can just seem too big and too daunting, so little steps and one day at a time is the best way forward.

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mustang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 08 Sep 2010 at 8:05am
Morning!
I am tiiiired! events of the weekend all catching up.....had contact with my son yesterday he sounds shattered to,(says his head still feels stuffed!) he has been doin his unpaid work on the ambulances to get more stuff singed off on his training ...i did wonder if it was a good thing for him to go off and do so soon after the weekend, but realise 1) i cant stop him 2) he needs to keep moving forward with his plans 3) he needs to feel in control of his life. He was meant to go on and give medical cover for a festival in the IOW at the weekend but at this moment in time says he isnt going to.... we always give ourselves a get out of jail card ....meaning that what ever the plans are we always tell our selves "WE DONT HAVE TO IF IT FEELS PRESSURED" a little reverse psychology i find works for me is if i give myself permission to not do something it relieves pressure and helps me to feel in control of a situation i might be finding diffcult.( i then usually go ahead with wotever it was!) Home is important for my son, it appears to be his safety zone and i will,always,always have it available to him. Who knows what he will decide on in the end , festival or not but he is making use of his coping mechanisms, recognising what he may find diffcult, planning ahead ( albeit in small chunks)taking positive steps and making choices that will help him to remain safe. All those things in my book are signs he IS dealing with this. I encourge anyone to be thankful and to see the good in the small day to day things (decision making) that those of us without PTSD take for granted. It seems to me that at least twice as much thought,planning and checking out takes place with someone with PTSD to accompish the things it may take me seconds to do so what a wonderful achievement that they stick with things and keep on moving ......and dont forget it is important they do this in their time and their way....every day is a day closer to conquering and every day brings something to be pleased about. everyone stay positive and when ur friend, partner, son or daugher is finding positive difficult to do.....stand in the gap for them and carry that thought for them.
Keep standing everyone! Heres to a good day for us all, says she who is off to a meeting in abit .....more coffee first i think ;o)
Take care
Sal x
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote mustang Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Sep 2010 at 9:02am
Good Morning,
Its Friday! ;o)
Well it looks like the IOW is happening...so thats another move forward....some good news for my son is that his housing situation is moving forward as well something that was causing him particular stress, i know he loves us all here but he wants and needs his own space which afterall is only natural ;o)...
lots to do over the weekend including getting my youngest up together for uni start on Monday.......its all happening.!!
Just waiting for Combat Stress to get bk to us....and i hope my son will pick up with any help offered...want him to feel a sense of achievement for picking himself up but dont want him to think it is pointless to still get help for when it all gets to much again, would be good to have some preventativ stuff go in to help crisis points to get less or more manageable .......damage limitaton = a quicker recovery time if we crash again ........if things could be a simple as some of the plans! always good to plan i guess thing is we have to realise the plan dosent always fit the situation... and the situaton / event / emotion will at times be what forms the plan!
I hope everyone can have a good, peaceful and happy weekend...
Take care everyone :o)
Sal x
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Elaine Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 10 Sep 2010 at 10:39am
Morning Sally,

Yep and another week has gone by!! it has been good reading through your posts, so do keep on telling us what is happening in your lives. Hope you all have a good weekend and it would be excellent if he does go the IOW (but like you said if not it is not the end of the world).

From personal experience I have always found there is a lot of support and help available, it is just not there in a crisis when you need it most, by the time the help is available for you the crisis is over and then there is the feeling that you do not want to have to revisit it so soon after you have just got through/over it.

I fully understand what you are saying in your post about not thinking it is pointless to still get help though, (though it does feel like that sometimes).

Wishing you a happy weekend too.

Elaine.
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